Announcing: Some Bold New Marketing Gibberish

Later this week, I plan to meet with a local marketing agency (Blue Kite Marketing), which has been working on a re-brand for my business.

But this post reminded me how much I *love* the marketing babble that accompanies re-branding efforts (especially new logos). You know – like this explanation when Twitter released its new bird logo a while back:

“Our new bird grows out of love for ornithology, design within creative constraints, and simple geometry. This bird is crafted purely from three sets of overlapping circles — similar to how your networks, interests and ideas connect and intersect with peers and friends. Whether soaring high above the earth to take in a broad view, or flocking with other birds to achieve a common purpose, a bird in flight is the ultimate representation of freedom, hope and limitless possibility.”

Oh, yeah. I’m all in. Can’t wait!

So, even though I don’t know what concepts we’ll be discussing, I’m going to put on my marketing gibberish hat to announce my new brand – right now, before we even discuss it. I mean, we can always swap out some stuff later, after all….

(Steve Woodruff’s company) Leverages Genius Marketing Approach to Impact Worldwide Business Ecosystem


________________, one of the world’s most advanced consultancies transforming the way industries conduct business transactions, communications, and processes, announces a new brand based on three pillars of organizational excellence: integrated frameworks, matrixed benchmarking, and multichannel maladroitness.

Described by thought leaders as one of top companies doing exactly what it does in its unique micro-niche that has no competitors, ________________ has created a new look that dramatically demonstrates the overarching melding of futuristic technology trends with the day-to-day grind of dialing for dollars.

The logo, an adaptation of Greek revival thinking that dispenses with abstract color flow patterns in favor of stark geometrical randomization, is designed to remind users that, at its heart, the company cares, and cares deeply. About customers and values and stuff. The straighty, curvy lines depict the universal desire for (something aspirational here) which drives all business to arrive at a crescendo of personal fulfillment for every human on the planet (symbolized by that green thing that may be in the middle, or perhaps over on the left). The selective use of the new Bernoff font conveys a groundswell of co-created best-in-class obscuratism.

Something about end-to-end solutions. And, of course, clarity.

The new tagline, (Do you have any money or are you wasting my time?? or similar… TBD) is meant to recast the symbology of efficient business evolution into adjacent user ecosystems. This cutting-edge palette of verbal and visual design elements will carry the company into a future marked by universal collaboration, world peace, and the joie de vivre that can only come from a 4-grain mashbill and aging in charred American oak barrels for at least 6 years.

So – what do you think? Are we on brand??? ;>}

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